The word Can't and people who inspire me...

Hi Everyone. Michelle here. This is a long one, but hang in there, I have a point :) I'm self admittedly long winded, but I'll try to get this out in less then a thousand words.

So. I'm training for a 5K that I'll be running with my sister in October. For the first couple of weeks, the program calls for me to run three days a week. Today was one of those days. When I ran a few day ago, I ran in the morning. Before the heat. The plan for today had been to do the same. However, it didnt happen. I was sitting in the living room playing with Addison, and honestly, happy that Jen was sleeping in, because I really had no energy or oomph to get out and do that run. I wasnt thinking at that moment that I wouldnt do the run at all, not at that moment anyway. I just knew it wasnt happening this morning.

The day went by, and it was pretty damned hot, but the days are longer, so I knew I'd have the chance to run once it cooled off just before the sun went down. As the day wore on, I wanted to do it less and less. I was exhausted, I have to work tomorrow, etc etc. When it got time to go though, some things hit me. Aside from everything I'm about to write in this blog.

I couldnt let myself down. I couldnt let my sister down. I couldnt let my friend down (memorial run for her dad), and, maybe the biggest thing: 'since when did I subscribe to the word Can't and give it any power in my life?' I dont. So, I went for the run. Of course I felt exhausted when I got back, but I felt good. While I was in the shower, the rest of this blog entry hit me.

I am a former Marine for those of you who didnt know. Now you know. For just a second, for my sake, put away any negativity you may harbor for the military, violence, whatever it may be. There's a rule they have while you're in boot camp that, regardless of who you are, affects you, and I truly believe, the rest of your life. They dont allow you to say the word Can't. At all. There are severe consequences for those who say it. You arent allowed to say it. You arent allowed to display it and eventually, you arent allowed to believe that it exists.

Now, we all came out of bootcamp a little robotic. I think though, that one of the best things I ever got, was the belief that there really was no room in my life for Can't. My favorite drill instructor, who was hilarious, was yelling at us one day and said, "You choose in life to subscribe to Can't and we dont let you sign up for that magazine here. Because that's what Can't is like. A magazine subscription. You say it and dont do something once, and next month, there will be something else. So, Can't starts coming around once a month, just like a magazine. Always remember, that it's a choice to subscribe or not. You also wont be getting any PlayGirl here!"

Obviously, I wasnt too concerned with the Playgirl, lol. I decided a long time ago though, that I wouldnt subscribe to Can't, and it's taken me far. Can you imagine how different things or people might be, if more people subscribed to Can't?

There might not be an 'Us' when I see Jen and I.

There might not have been an Addison. There may not have been a Corey, a Ruby, a Shoghi and Maxwell, a Lachlan, an Emmalee, an Andy, an Andrew, an Elizabeth and Cassandra, a Nate and Julia, a Jacque' and Chloe, there might not be a Katelyn on the way. There might not be the amazing mothers who fight to do nothing less then the best every day for each of these children. There may have never been a beautiful and amazing Simone who at only a few months old and numerous heart surgeries, smiles like a baby who's had none at all. There might not have been her strong mother who does the impossible every day.

There may have been no spontaneous move to Washington on a hope and a prayer. No gas hauler who works hard and does what it takes to be a great father, no new home for Izzy and new friends for us. There may have never been a forgiving mother and friend who painstakingly handmade a wedding dress for a wedding that never took place. There may never have been the friend who was still a friend, when everyone else had walked away, or a Marine Corps buddy who is as good a friend as ever despite time or distance.

There may have never been an amazing daughter and friend honoring the memory of her father. There may have never been the amazing doctor who heals people with the power of touch and positive thinking. There might not be the new friend who came out of an ugly place in the past.

Now, you all know your story. No reason to point out the obvious. Some of you I've known for over 25 years. Some of you I've only know for a few years. Some of you, I've never met, but we know each other's story.

You all inspire me. In some way. You remind me that I choose to surround myself with people who dont subscribe to Can't. You remind me that when I may think things are difficult or beyond comprehension, that maybe they just arent so. You inspire me to be strong, to keep going, and that I'm never alone. You're amazing mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, friends. Whether you live next door to me, or what seems like a million miles away, I have love in my heart for you all, and this little struggle to get off of the couch today, inspired me to let you know.

Ketchup farts, bad blogger and teenaged angst...

Hi Everyone, Michelle here. I know, bad blogger. Bad. I have to admit, I'm all hooked on this Facebook thing. And not so much hooked as, hooked on a game on there. It's awful. So, I decided tonight, that I was going to blog.

Addison is almost 6 months old. I dont know how that happened, but it's right around the corner. I'm not looking, and I refuse to get any closer to the corner, lol. She's so amazing. She's a little red headed, happy, angry, tantrum throwing, smiley, loving, sack of taters. I look at her and wonder how I could love her any more, but then I get the next smile or little coo and it starts all over again. We've had a lot of firsts this month. She's rolling over like crazy. Now, this is really funny, because she hates being on her stomach. She'll sit there for a moment, and then get really pissed. So, you roll her back over, and in a split second, she's rolling right back over. There's that small moment of triumph, and then the loud requests to not be on her belly.

The pediatrician confirmed that her bottom teeth are getting ready to bust through. We knew she was teething, but a lot of people were telling us that she'll probably teeth for a few more months before anything happens. Well. I think we know our baby, lol. She drools an ocean, and she's been a cranky mess. I wrote on Facebook tonight that Jen and I are at times like a world wrestling tag team. When it's an especially bad day, one of us will start with loving trick number one. After a few minutes of loving trick #1 not working, the other tags in with loving trick #2. Tonight, we were out of loving tricks by the end of it all. We werent super stressed the way we usually are though, because she was doing something funny. She'd be totally screaming, crying, wiggling, really mad, and all of a sudden, she'd look at the tag team member not holding her, and bust out in a big ol' smile. We laughed and I think we're chalking it up to her pretty much saying, "Game on mommy's".

She's beautiful and, according to the pediatrician, off the charts. We did our preservative free immunos this month and found out that she's 27, almost 28 inches long, and 17 1/2lbs. Yes. She's large, lol. It sure doesnt slow her down though. She's almost perfected her backwards crawl. It's pretty funny, because you can tell she really wants to go forward, but she pushes off with her hands. So, she ends up farther from what she wants. She had her first swim this month, and her first time to the beach :)

The funniest thing, I think, that we've discovered this month, is something that makes her laugh that really great baby laugh. The uncontrollable full on giggle crack-up thing. Ketchup farts. And, really, any toy fart. Jen was putting ketchup on her plate one night while holding Addie and it was toward the end of the bottle. So, it made that 'pblert' sound. Addison lost it. So, of course, we all spent the next 10 minutes in the kitchen squeezing that bottle and laughing at her laughing. We also discovered tonight in the tub that her bath toys make the same noise and get the same results. Even before Addison, baby laughter was one of my top five favorite noises ever. I mean, come on, what's better then a happy laughing baby? :)

Teen-aged angst. Our son Corey will be 16 this week. Wow. 16. Now, this brings so much with it. It makes us appreciate Addison so much more right now. Because, even though I'm sure she'll be a really good kid, we know, that she will, inevitably, go through the 16 going on 40 phase. I like her phase now better. I love Corey more then life itself, but he is 16 going on 40. And, at 6'2", you cant say much to him that he doesnt have an answer for. He's very loving for a young man his age, I'm thankful for that, but there are definitely challenges with him. Especially since his dad is a sack of crap. That's a blog entry for another time though. I suppose that all we can do is our best and hope that someday he realizes that that was what we did.

Corey turning 16 makes me feel old. I dont know though if it's really because he's turning 16, or because we have a 5 month old who barely sleeps, therefore, we barely sleep. Only time will tell I suppose. Onward and upward :)

So, a friend of mine from high school, Melinda, sent me an invitation to a 5K memorial run for her father in October in Arizona. I've never run a 5K and am obviously super heavy after having Addison. Now, my sister, is SUPER fit, gorgeous and a total runner. I asked her if I got in shape to do the run if she'd do it with me and she said yes. So, tomorrow, I start a 5K running program I found called 'Couch potato to 5K'. I'm really excited because I know it's going to help me get back into shape and I'll be doing something I've never done before. I'm going to try to find the running ticker that I know is somewhere online and put it here on the blog. Then I'll have to be here to blog more :)

My 20 year high school reunion is also coming up in September. I dont think that we're going to be able to go, but we're going to try to get together soon after with some of my other high school friends in OR and WA. 20 years? Really????

Corey goes back down to his dad's tomorrow, I'm going to get going on strawberry and grape preserves this week or next and the house will start to get back in order. We've had non-stop house guests for the past month and I think that that's added to the anxiety level and lack of sleep. Not only on our part, but on Addison's. She doesnt like to miss anything. We love to see everyone, but a month is a long shot of constant entertainment. That's about it for now. I'll leave you with some cute pictures of Ad. Hope that everyone is well, love to all :)