One of Sara Palin's children

I feel awful today. As bad as if I were one of Sara Palin's children. (Can you imagine having to be one of them???) I'm nauseous, my head hurts, my digestion is slow and achy today. My mouth tastes like garbage. I told Jen last night that I feel like I went backwards a whole month. I think that my hormone levels must be high too because I'm really emotional and I cant pinpoint anything. Piss off Hyperemesis. I'm 5 and a half months pregnant now, which means that I've been sick for five months. It's getting harder to deal with. I'm having a hard time keeping any kind of good focus. I'm not sure where to start. Maybe I'll try a cracker.

On a glimmer, I saw Addison's movement outside of my belly yesterday for the first time. Just two little rolling bumps, but there they were. I was surprised because they were really high, even with and almost above my belly button. That's about all I have in me today. Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Back to the drawing board, hand me a crayon

Hi all. Michelle here. Again. Today was like being at the top of a really tall slide, and starting your way down on accident. I dont like to focus on the negative, but I have to tell the story, so here goes. I woke up with a screaming migraine and a little queezy. I decided to try to go to work for my second day anyway. As Jen and I both got ready, I went to brush my teeth. This always makes me gag a little, but I try to be really careful. Jen said that she knew as soon as she heard me start to brush that things werent going well. I had a little up chuck, but nothing awful. I was queezy, but I thought that I'd be able to keep it down. I went to wipe my mouth off and as my head throbbed, here came the contents of my stomach. I threw up for a few minutes and we took a few more to regroup. Jen asked me if I was sure about work, and I said that I wanted to try, so we left. We stopped for my morning shot of caffeine, and after two sips, I knew there was no keeping it down. I didnt even finish it.

We got to work and sat for a few minutes and then headed inside. Jen goes to the jail side and I go to the court side. Ha ha, court side, no, I dont work for a basketball team. I got to the office and immediately got comments from everyone on how I 'didnt look so hot'. My seargent wanted me to go home, but, I wanted to try to make it through the day. I made it until 9am before running to the bathroom and vomitting so hard that I blew a bunch of little blood vessels in my eye lids. So. I walked back to the office, called Jen, and went home. I called my doctor and they told me I could get in at 4:10. Jen got off at 3 and we headed in. I tested positive for keytones in my urine again, which seems to happen rather quickly once the vomitting begins. Which, is odd to me, since I drink 6 to 8 litres of water a day. Ugh.

The doctor gave me two choices. Go to the hospital immediately, or go off work again, go home, get in bed, and rest. I chose the latter. I'm so over the hospital. We grabbed some Jamba Juice and got ourselves home. We had a nice suprise when we did get home. Jen's parents bought us our crib set and it arrived. I saw the big box and neither of us knew what it was, we didnt even know that they had ordered it. It was exciting. The crib my mom and sister bought us is on back order and we'll get that on October 24th, so we'll have to wait until then to make it. But, I digress.

I'm home again. In bed. Drinking water. But, how is baby Addison? She's fine, and we're very happy about that. We could tell she was stressed by the vomitting because while I was driving home, she was kicking the snot out of me. I think she got tired because she hadnt had any nutrition since the night prior, because then she stopped until we were out of the doctor's office and Jen started talking to her. She's so responsive to her voice. I love that. I love them both. I'm having guilt from not being able to go back to work, but Jen's great about it. My office is very supportive too. They just want the baby (and me) to be ok. There's the update. The picture here is of Corey when he was a wee one. It reminds me of how much they openly love you when they're little. He was so damned cute! We hope that everyone out there's doing well, and I'm sure you'll hear from us again soon. :)

Success in small steps and long days

Today was the day. I went back to work. I'm only going to go three days a week for the next few weeks, but today was the first day. It was not great, but it was a success, because I made it through the entire eight hours. That sounds funny to me, because now that I work inside, I only work eight hours. I used to work patrol and 12 hr shifts were minimum and standard. I will not focus on what was hard about it, I will instead; point out the positives:

I, did not throw up.

People, were happy to see me. Very happy actually. That's always nice.

I was able to take a shower.

I didnt throw up when I brushed my teeth.

Only one person wore so much perfume that I felt like I'd been run over by a parade float from the Tournament of Roses.

I'm home now :)

So. I will go back tomorrow and pray that tomorrow is, if not better, at least the same, as today. I am thankful.

Meme's, going back to work and simple moments

Hi everyone. Michelle here. Yesterday was a good day. A really good day. Healthy baby. I felt really good. I felt really good and because of that, made the decision to try to go back to work. I think that Jen and I both knew that it was a very contingent decision seeing as this illness has really been a roller coaster. Today, has not been a good day. I woke up at 3:54 am with intense nausea and the baby wanted to eat. She lets me know about every two hours that I have to put something in my stomach. It's not always the easiest thing, but her nutrition is priority. I am going to try to go to work tomorrow. All I can do is hope that tomorrow is a repeat of yesterday, and that it's a good day. I'm going to choose to think positive and give my new day the opportunity to be an Oreo moment.

Now, you may not love Oreos and I cant say that they were ever my favorite cookie. They definitely arent now because they're loaded with stuff I no longer eat, but I have a fond memory as a child of this cookie. One of my best friends moms, used to bring us in a bedtime snack. Kind of a stereotypical ritual. But, I loved it, and always knew, that when I stayed at Rocky's house, I would get a night light, a small cup of REALLY cold milk, and three Oreo cookies. A simple moment. Something you can close your eyes on, think about, and remember that simple thing that brought such a big smile to your face and heart (and mouth, lol). I try to focus on Oreo moments when I'm feeling especially sick.

Enough of the serious. I found this Meme on 2 Moms, it can be done and liked it, so I thought that I would put it out there for everyone to check out:

G.L.B.T. Meme

Are you sure of your sexual orientation? Or are you confused?
Absolutely positive!

Are you open with your sexuality? Or is it a secret?
Very open

Who was the 1st person you told that you're a lesbian?
My friend from high school Korin.

Is your hair short, medium, or long?
Medium

Would you ever shave your head?
When I worked patrol for LAPD I shaved my head down to a 2 crew cut and kept it that way for about two years. (Picture above)

Do you own anything with the Gay Rainbow on it?
I've heard people refer to the Gay Rainbow as the 'Gay flag'. I used to love having the Gay flag on my car, but I cant think of any I have right now.

Do you consider yourself a Stud, Androgynous, or Femme?
Sporty femme

What type of females are you most attracted to?
Strong and intelligent. Not butch strong, but strong in family, morals, values etc.

What FAMOUS Lesbian is your favorite?
Ellen. Her path has shown all of us that you can live honestly and still have a positive impact.

Do you like watching The L Word?
I loved the first few seasons, but I think it became very commercial around the 3rd or 4th season. I lived in Los Angeles for a long time and it really only represents the 'A' lesbians.

What is your favorite lesbian movie?
Boys on the Side

Do you have any Pride tattoos? If not, would you ever get one?
No Pride tattoos. If I had the choice now, probably wouldnt have any. But I have one Marine Corps tattoo and a Hawaiian band on my upper left arm with my sons name in Hawaiian in it.

Do you go to Gay/Lesbian clubs?
If we're meeting up with friends, but it's been a really long time.

Would you ever be a Drag King? (If you're not already)
Maybe when I was still learning who I was, for the fun of it, but not now.

What name would you go by if you did do Drag?
Well, if I go by what it says online on how to pick your Drag name, I would be Nipper Carlisle. Wow.

Have you ever been mistaken for a Male?
Yes. When my hair was buzz cut when I was on patrol, arrestees would call me sir often. It made them more cooperative afterwards because they felt bad for calling a woman sir, lol.

Would you ever have a sex change to become a Male?
NOOOOO. And miss out on everything that being a woman is?? No way. I love my womanhood.

How do you feel about Homophobia?
I think that it originates from people's own insecurities. It makes me said, because I lost friends coming out. However, it also makes me happy, because I know who I am and like what I've discovered to this point.

How do you feel about Gays/Lesbians having children?
Being the mother of a 15 yr old son and currently pregnant, I'm pretty sure that I'm good with it. I think that for the most part, gays and lesbians having children is a positive thing because we have to work SO hard to get pregnant/adopt etc. It's really not something that most gays or lesbians do without really wanting it.

If it were legal, would you marry another Female?
It is, and I'm marrying this beautiful person this month.

Have you ever attended a Gay Pride Festival?
Lol, yes. Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, Las Vegas, North and South Carolina.

Do you wear make-up?
Occasionally.

Do you carry a wallet - or a purse?
A wallet and a backpack that accomodates my lap top for work.

Do you wear Male clothes?
Yes, the comfie stuff.

Do you prefer wearing cologne instead of perfume?
Umm, yeah. For some reason, people love Curve for Men on me. Kind of an accidental discovery years ago. I still love perfume though. I just like to smell good.

Do you have several piercings & tattoos?
Just ear piercings. Used to have nipple and eyebrow piercings. I have a couple of tattoos. See above.

Do you have a crush on a female celebrity, if so, who?
Mary-Louise Parker. I dont think I've seen a movie of hers I didnt like and she can always make me cry.

Do you have more Gay/Lesbian/Bi friends than you do Straight friends?
More straight friends.

Have you ever been gay bashed?
Only verbally. I got a letter from one of my best friends brothers and wife while I was in boot camp saying that they were worried for my soul between being a lesbian and in the military. They never let their kids watch Disney movies, so I wasnt too hurt over it. Who could say no to Nemo???

Did anyone stop having contact with you after you came out of the closet?
Yes, but no one I was disappointed by. I've been very lucky with my family and close friends.

What is your favorite gay/lesbian quote?
Gays dont fall in love. Lesbians dont fall in love. Straights dont fall in love. PEOPLE, fall in love. Love, when it's right between two people, IS, that simple. - Unknown

Do you believe you were born a lesbian?
Yes. I didnt come out until I was in my early 20's and would have never condoned being a lesbian growing up, but I had my first 'experience' at 8yrs old and remembered being more attracted to women most of my life.

Are you proud? Or ashamed of your sexuality?
Proud and modest--it can be done. This was actually the answer that was on the blog I got this from, but I really think that it nails it.

It's a girl!!!

Well, today was the day we have been waiting for. We had our 20 week sonogram, and found out that the baby is a girl. Little Addison. We are both so happy. She would not cooperate with the Dr's at all. She just laid in one place, moving her feet and arms. She opened her mouth a lot and we even saw her tongue a few times. So, now we can start hunting for little girl things. Although, we aren't going to need a lot. Our friend, Jen, has two little girls so Addison will be getting lots from them. Can't complain about that.
Michelle is starting to feel better, knock on wood. She is going to try to go to work this week, just three days a week and see how it works out for her. If she does okay, she may be able to go back full time. I know she is glad about that.
Both of our parents were happy about us having a little girl, as she will be the first granddaughter on both sides. They both have grandsons that are both 15. Weird, huh?
Well, not much else to report and starting to get sleepy. Just wanted to share a picture of our princess.
Thank you everyone that have been there for Michelle while she has been so sick, you have all helped her keep her sanity.