Not like You.

I've known you longer then anyone else in my life, and yet, I know nothing about you.

The best times we ever had were between the ages of 3 and 6. You owned a hair salon and were well known for your talent. How sad that you allowed that to die through life.

Our daily ritual was one of my all time favorite memories. Every day I'd get dropped off at your shop towards the end of the day to wait for you to close. The last clients of the day would give me quarters as I helped sweep up hair. Once the shop was closed, we'd head to 7-11. For Slurpee's. You'd always let me get the cool cup. I liked that. It was a constant. Always there. Always fun.

It wouldn't last.

I got the best of you. The kind you. The funny you. The hard working you. You disappeared so fast that the others never got to know her.

You were supposed to teach me about life. How to: treat people, to be honest, to be good, to hang on to family traditions etc etc. Instead you taught me how to lie. Manipulate. Close myself off. Avoidance. Cruelty. You were supposed to take care of me until I could take care of myself.

Instead. I took care of you.

I took care of the others.

From doing these things, I learned how to care. How to love. How to tell what people needed and when.

I learned on my own. But not from you.

Don't worry. I am truly blessed. Amazing people's paths have crossed mine in life. Giving me the choice to continue to grow into your shadow, or to change and become who I have.

Someone who cares. Loves. Wants to invite people in. To be honest. And my heart? It's as big as a mountain.

People who taught me how to communicate. Such a simple thing, unless you don't have the skill. It took a long time for me to master that one and I still struggle with it at times.

You have a cruel minded heart. You call people I love things like 'Stupid' and 'Dumb'. You're a user. People are only in your life until you have no use for them anymore.

You'll take credit for my successes, but I'll give you none.

You've never come to see Addison and you'll never know her. I'd rather you didn't.

I've spent much of my life ensuring that I wasn't you. Because at my core, I was. I've accepted that you live your life to die. It's a sad way to be, but not within my control. With love in my heart, I don't like you, but I always pray that something will change and you'll find peace and happiness.

Regardless of whether you do or not, you'll never bring me down. And that, is no thanks to you.