Day #1 - 30 Days of Truth

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

I've stared at that for a few days now. I cant say that now, at this time in my life, that there's really anything I hate about myself. Hate is such a strong word, with a lot of meaning.

But.

The longer I stared at that up there, I knew that there was one thing. So if I have to pick, it'll be this.

My stomach. And the stretch marks on it.

If you ever need to take a trip across the country, and don't want to spend the money on a map. Let me know. You can use the map on my stomach. Free trip, you don't have to pay for a map, it all works out, right?

Seriously though. Road map. Right there. On my belly.

When Corey was born, he was 10lbs, 1oz. Big. Big head, big baby. Still big. Skinny, 17 and 6'2" tall. Go figure.

Well, all of that baby, stretched the heck out of me, so, there it is. Deep, long, scars.

A lot of people tell me, "It's beautiful, it's a reminder of the life you brought into this world".

Ok, I can accept that. Until I try to stuff my muffin into some jeans I'd really love to wear and look like I'm smuggling water balloons in my underwear.

I've grown quite adept actually at 'hiding' or 'concealing' the stretch marks and the roll that comes with them. I don't wear bathing suits or cut off shirts. Although that's not much of a problem now that the 80's are over.

I appreciate the marks for what they are. Although to call them stretch 'marks' is quite an understatement. They're more like little rivers stretching the length of my torso, carrying small little men in gondolas with nets at the end of their poppets (see below) straining the water for bits of my self confidence.

(......And it’s only by fully making use if its shape that a gondolier, masterly manoeuvring the oar, manages to imprint any direction of motion to the gondola. The poppets get completely hand-built, carving renowned woods for their elasticity, with the help of tools that only expert artisans are capable of using)

Until recently, I was really considering in a couple of years, of having a mommy makeover. You know, put the boobs back, cut off the muffin, all of that. I don't think I'll be going through with that though. For various reasons. CrossFit number one. Other personal reasons two through four. And, I have to say, I do think of Corey and Addison every time I see them.

I know that the roll will be gone once I'm firmly cemented in CrossFit, so I'm not overly concerned about that.

And who knows, after I have a new set of abs, maybe then I'll be able to accept my stretch marks a little more.

They will after all, be on a new background.