This blog is not going to be about what you think it will be when you first see the title. It is about passion, but not the romantic kind. Not in that sense anyway. It's about the passion we have for our children. The past week has been very challenging. Last night topped it off and today, there was intense fear and then resolution. There was a chance that Addison had been put into harms way, and obviously not by either of us. I cant begin to tell you, and if you're a parent, I dont have to, about the rage I felt. The passionate anger. It's tough to trust people with your children (omit family and close friends from that statement). Until at least, they're at an age where they can either defend themselves or tell you what's going on. Addison is not at that age yet. She's a sweet, trusting, defenseless toddler. And the thought that anyone could harm her, or, even disregard her basic needs, sends me into a tailspin.
We were fortunate today. The harm was not what we thought, but still a good deal of neglect. The guilt that goes with that is deep. We're here to protect her, and although we didnt cause the action, it was a small failure, I feel, on our part. Luckily, we're both pretty well in tune with Addison and our gut feelings, so there's nothing irrepairable
And still, I felt the intense passion of wanting to tear someone limb from limb. I've lived the past 18 years enforcing laws, so I would obviously never follow through on that, but, it's the closest I've ever been while not wearing a gun. Thank goodness for wonderful friends and family who embraced us and kept us sane for the day. We love you all very much.
The mother lion inside of me, would gladly eat someone whole for causing the slightest bit of damage to this little person who is my life. There was no rationale today. No reasoning. Just waiting. Waiting to know. Then once I knew, crushing guilt and passionate desire to go home and wrap Addison up. Which is exactly what I did. The passion I hold for this child, is unrivaled and overwhelming. I would give myself for her in a heartbeat.
And I hope to never feel it the way I did today, again in my life, or hers.
I would rip them limb from limb, can I get the address????
ReplyDelete"hugs" seems trite and insufficient... it sounds horrible, and like you could all use a little family time and healing. wishing you a reviving weekend.
ReplyDeleteWe're so sorry to hear that your fierce protectiveness of Addison has been tested this way.
ReplyDeleteIf you only knew how much I can relate to this feeling.....helplessness is a horrible feeling, especially when you can't protect your own child.
ReplyDeleteNo idea what happened, but I can tell you that if someone hurt Simone, there would be no hell deep enough for the person who did it. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteSending you so much love. I know exactly of what you speak and I picked up my daughter, walked away and never ever ever let her be in that person's care again.
ReplyDeleteI love you, and I love Ad so very much (and Jen too, of course)
It's taken me awhile to comment on this post, not because I don't have strong feelings on the issue, but because my feelings are SO strong. Having talked to you that day, and having been through (very minor) concerns at our own daycare 2 separate times, this whole thing makes me physically ill. More than I can tell you. But I know that your desire to rip someone limb from limb is more than justified, and shared by not only you and Jen, but anyone who loves your family and anyone who has been in a similar situation. You, my friend, handled it beautifully, and thank God you were able to find an alternative and make the change immediately.
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