Heavy Sigh

Well. I have it. Gestational Diabetes. I'm kind of over the anger I had the day before yesterday. And, really, I just told Jen, I shouldnt be surprised.

Before we got pregnant, we had a nutritionist. I kept a detailed food log of what, exact amounts, calorie counts, carbs, protein, fats etc etc, I had eaten every day. We were on a completely organic, unprocessed food diet. We felt great. We looked great. I checked in, book in hand, with my doctor and/or nutritionist every month, and things were good. Then, we got pregnant.

With the Hyeremesis setting in full force by week 6, this all went out the window, because really, I was at the mercy of what my body could tolerate, if that were anything at the time. So, in came processed foods, yuck, and fruit juices (which I had completely given up in trade for all whole fruits because your body breaks them down better), and, the ultimate evil, even some fast food.

Although just recently, I've been able to start cooking and shopping some again, it's still been hard. Some things work well, some do not. I truly feel that my body has just been through the ringer. Losing 35lbs before pregnancy, gaining a little at the beginning, then losing another 35, and now, gaining it all back. A really bad, unhealthy roller coaster. And again, we're just thankful that so far, Addison is ok and healthy. However, I still feel that I have a small right to complain, lol.

I really think that I'll be one of those people who will be able to control this for the last two months with strictly diet alone. I'm very anal retentive when it comes to following instructions. They are going to send me to the part of their practice that deals solely with pregnant diabetics and those with gestational diabetes. They said that the first thing they do is put you on a strict diet. No problemo.

The only problem I forsee is figuring out what my body is going to want to keep down or be able to digest in a painless manner. I guess that we'll see. For now, I feel amazed and confused at times at how much your body can control you. We had planned for such a healthy brilliant pregnancy, and what we got, has been completely out of our control. Although, we have so much to be thankful for, we deserve the right also to have some human emotion about it all. Hope everyone's doing well out there.