Maine and the dilemma it reminds my family of...

Hi everyone. Hope that all is well in blog-land as well as IRL. Addison did me a huge favor and slept last night. Not once I went to bed lol. She went down at 7:30 and was up at 8:30, but, once she went to bed after that, she slept until 6:30. Not bad considering how it's been going. That, however, is not tonight's topic.

Neither is Maine, really. What happened in Maine is tragic. More tragic because it was another example of give it and then take it back. It's like we have state's who are being made to look like indian givers as we used to say in elementary school. (I hope no one finds that offensive) What I mean is, you get one brave and good hearted politician to stand up and make gay marriage legal. Then, you have those nasty little whispering in the shadows voices to convince another group of politicians, to put it to a vote. Now, I understand, and believe in, the power of the people to vote and have their voices heard. What I don't believe in, are smear tactics. I feel strongly about the divisive and deceitful way that our opposition runs their campaign.

And, to those people who say that they support gay marriage, but in their voting do not, I lump you in with the previous and say 'coward'. I know people who do not believe in gay marriage, and I respect them for at least having the balls to say so.

This awful situation though, is really not my topic entirely. Moreover, it's my family's personal decision on where we want to spend the rest of our lives and raise our children. Maine, just reminded and really brought some points home.

We've been going over this decision for the last couple of years. We're giving ourselves until Addison is ready to start school to make the decision final. This may seem like a long time, but in reality, it is not.

The places we want to live, are as follows, and in no particular order:

Oregon
Washington
South Dakota
Colorado

Here are what these things have in common:

Friends, great schools, beautiful areas, good home prices, great economy, opportunity, places we really want to be.

Here is what they do NOT have in common:

Equal rights for gay and lesbian families, recognition of our family, positive gay and lesbian environments for our children, job protection for gays and lesbians.

Our number one pick, would be South Dakota. People cringe when we say that, but, the truth is, that's where all of our family is. Minus my sister, who we would fly out or invite to live with us in a heartbeat. She's the only one who makes it easy on us about living there. And, if you're close to your family, and are speaking your truth, dont we all want our children to grow up around our family? We really want the kids to grow up near their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, and, %99 of them, are in South Dakota.

Believe it or not, we've been really well received there. Even in the church where Jen and her family have been going for years. People whom Jen's family thought would be unsure of the whole 'lesbian' thing, have welcomed us with open arms. It's really been a surprising and eye opening experience.

It's beautiful there. I mean, unbelievably beautiful. And, I admit, I LOVE snow, and there's a lot of that. It's a nice, quiet (other then rally week lol) mid-western place where people's kids still get to play after dark and trick-or-treat door to door. Property is ridiculously well priced and it would be easier for us to get a home there. I could go on and on.

Now, the downside of South Dakota is, there are no employment protection rights for gays and lesbians. Yes folks, if they find out you're gay, you can be fired, and no one will bat an eye. There is no protection for your children. There is no protection for you and your wife or husband if one of you ends up in the hospital. And so on and so forth. Nothing, nope, nada. Do we take the risk of something like that happening? Being suddenly out of work or in an insurmountable situation?

There are, however, gay and lesbian rights groups in South Dakota. I was really surprised by this when Jen found it all online. My job from here on out is to make contact with them, talk things over and see how good and/or bad things really are there for family's like ours.

It's one of the most difficult decisions I think either one of us has ever had to make. Children need to grow up around family, we're both firm believers in that, and we, honestly, need to be closer to the family who are there. So, the research will go on, the job searches will go on and we will continue to ponder.

Oregon and Washington are pretty much the same for us in regards to job protection and family recognition. We both have friends in both places. If I had to pick (dont be mad my dear Washington friends), I would pick Oregon over Washington. My uncle had a ranch in Klamath Falls there growing up and I would go there during the summers to work on it. I love it. It's beautiful, it's right up our creative alley. Jen and her amazing photography, and me and, well, whatever I want to do. The only difficulty with both, is that neither of us have employment connections there. In this job market, you have to have network connections, and neither of us have that.

I think our family would thrive there. I'll have to let Jen post her own opinion. Colorado is a good option for us, because it puts us close to our South Dakota family, is fairly liberal, or at least just on the cusp of some really good things, and is just as beautiful as the rest with some really great schools.

What I'm really getting at here, is this. If we can be given our rights, and within the same year, have them taken away, does it really matter where we are in regards to that topic? Or, do we, as Jen stated about South Dakota, go, to be close to those we love and miss, and join groups there who are fighting the good fight in order to maybe bring about change in that state?

I dont know what the answer is. I know that we have some personal guidelines we need to meet before we make a final decision. We want to have a certain amount in our savings, have jobs before the move, a place to live depending on which area we choose, and a few other little things. That, is all I know. Oh, and that I'd love to hear some honest opinions on what people think and what they might do in the situation. Love to all :)